dottyspots

… listening to the Sonics (Louie, Louie) - oh no, just moved on to Green Onions - and waiting for dinner to cook (some sort of mix which FIL brought back from India, saying it’s nice).

I’ve knitted Ned a cat hat, but it’s a bit short (could’ve done with a few more rows before shaping) and a couple of the rows are a little tight (intarsia - not one of my favourite techniques - I carried some of the yarn a la fairisle and pulled a bit tight, but it’s not that noticeable).

One of the nice ladies in the wool shop in town photocopied me a pattern for a balaclava, so I’ve been making one of those for him instead - which has been *interesting* as it’s a rather old pattern and I’m using an entirely different yarn (pattern specifies 3ply, I’m using DK) but still, it’s making for a quick and easy knit. I’ve decided to stripe it in chocolate and blue to ‘update’ it a bit and I’m hoping it might be an answer to the hat-throwing problem (that’s common to most small children). Should it fit I’ll make some matching mitts and a scarf (and feel all smug). I’ll take some photos when the balaclava is done.

Ned’s still not entirely 100% and isn’t eating up to usual standard, which means he’s still a bit runny. Bfeeding such a boon when a baby has gone off solids a bit - although he does like toast (but man cannot live by bread alone, an’ all that )

The nursery paperwork came through a couple of days ago (because I thought I might as well apply to keep our options open). TBH though I don’t want Nin to go. It’s confirmed in my heart that I want her to be HE-ed from the offset and further confirmed that I really must learn to drive if I’m to have a hope of doing half the things I want to do with her (and Ned). I’m going to have a word with the toddler group parents to say that either we change Tuesdays or they find someone else to open up/organise on that day as I really want to start getting over to Sheffield a bit more regularly (well, at all, as I haven’t been of late). It’s a pity Bradway isn’t still running as that would’ve been a bit easier, I think, than Highfields (as I’ve got littlies).

Nin was also offered a further day at pre-school/playgroup with a view to going 5 sessions later on in the academic year, but she’s not going to go any extra days, two is quite enough with everything else we do in the week - sometimes it’s seems like I’m an everywhere-but-stay-at-home-mum!

I’ve not been blogging much of late. It’s said that ‘life is a rollercoaster’ (and no I don’t mean the song sang by Ronan Keating), but I think it’s more like the waltzers in that once in a while the carni comes along and gives you a good spin and off you go round and around, dizzier and dizzier – it’s great, but gravity has got your head pinned back to that cushion.

And so life has been and still, to some extent is.

I’m a bit of a crap blogger in that there’s lots I want to say, but I’m not really a heart-on-my-sleeve kind of person so sometimes I struggle to put it all into words and the more words there are whizzing around my head, the harder it gets.

R. starts school 3 mornings a week from the 29th. He’s really happy and wants to go full time, something that everyone else who is involved doesn’t think he is quite ready for yet… True to form however, I’m going to whinge about me (it’s my blog after all, he’s got his own if he wants to ramble on).

I’ve found it really, really tough – predominantly my hard concealed fury with the local HE ‘advisor’ who basically took us saying that we had concerns about R.’s progress in maths to mean that R. wasn’t receiving a ‘suitable’ education (etc.) and doubtless (and this is conjecture on my part) that our refusal to show any ‘evidence’ of education as a cover-up for a lack of education.

This is, of course, balls, as I said at a meeting a few months ago (and I have an independent witness and it’s also noted on the ‘advisor’s’ follow-up letter) that, “R. has some difficulty with maths that we are supporting him with.” R. was then asked about this and R. said that he didn’t like maths and would much prefer to read a book. This was noted on the follow-up letter where, despite not seeing any ‘evidence’ (as requested) the advisor concluded that upon visiting us that education was clearly ‘satisfactory’ (yes, yes, I could pick a million holes in this, but I’m trying not to get sidetracked from my main point). And that R. is a very polite, articulate young man and that we should be very proud of him (well yes, tempers aside, he is, we know that already). In addition, the EWO commented that IHO a child couldn’t fail to learn in our home environment.

Right, so we (R. and I) acknowledged at the time that maths is a difficult area.

As part of the Statement of SEN we requested (as R. wanted to return to school) R. was tested by an Ed. Psych. We agreed to this as it contributed to the Statement and we were endeavouring to get good support in place. As part of this test (WIAT-II for anyone that’s interested) R. was ranked at percentile 4 (i.e. the bottom 4%). He scored average in mathematical reasoning, so this particular ranking is a very localised area of difficulty.

Again, this is not what was actually said, but rather me doing some simple maths (excuse the pun) BUT at the multi-agency meeting, after having expressed concern about R.’s difficulty, bearing in mind that WE requested the statement, R. WANTS to go to school, the HE Advisor says that we have admitted that R. isn’t receiving a suitable education.

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Now hang on a sec. This is one part of the test – clearly the advisor finds it very convenient to ignore the other parts of the test. Aside from this one low ranking, R. ‘scored’ (yes I know, but again, I’m trying to stick to the point) one ‘average’ ranking. Every other ranking was ‘above average’ (i.e. over and above the 90th centile). In fact, on the WISC-IV Comprehension Scale the results suggested an age equivalent of 16 years and 10months (he’s 12). Ok, he struggles with long division, but when asked to explain why the internet might be considered a threat to dictatorship (or some such, I know it was worded better), he not only explained why, but gave an example of China.

Hmmmmm, something tells me this HE lark works…

So, quite understandably I’m a tad tetchy about what I perceive to be the very condescending way the ‘advisor’ (and I do use the term loosely) spoke to me. This meeting happened some weeks ago and I’m still, to be frank, furious.

As an additional aside, bear in mind that his younger brother who chose to return to school last year, was also HE-ed for over 3 years and guess what, they did maths together. Said child went straight into the top maths set when he returned to school and shortly afterward, excellent SATS results.

Now I *KNOW* it’s not about results, I am not results orientated in my opinion of my children, but I’m putting it across in traditional National Curriculum speak (something else we went nowhere near whilst HE-ing) and well, clearly HE really did work for Erk too and also, quite obviously, demonstrates that maths is something that can successfully be grasped in this house.

In which case, clearly, R. and I have a difference in understanding in that I explain, but don’t explain in a way that he understands with much success. Clearly Erk and I understood each other and therefore Erk (who also really enjoys maths as a concept) has little difficulty with maths and demonstrates that learning (and therefore a suitable education etc.) is happening in this house but that we have come across a particular stumbling block for R. That being the case, it is very likely that he would have also have had difficulty in this are had he been attending school.

HOW DARE HE MAKE THE HYPOTHETICAL JUDGEMENT THAT R.’S DIFFICULTY IN A TINY AREA IS DOWN THE FACT THAT I LIED THAT HE WAS RECEIVING A ‘SUITABLE EDUCATION’ AND THAT FURTHER MORE THIS IS BORNE OUT BY THE FACT THAT WE REFUSED TO OFFER UP ‘EVIDENCE OF EDUCATION’ AS PER THE LAW AS HE PERCEIVES IT.

And before anyone dives in at this point, we know the lae, hence our confidence in refusing evidence that R. was not comfortable in offering up for judgement (and it was his choice not to). However, even at the recent multi-agency meeting I was *still* told by said advisor that I was wrong and that by law he MUST be provided with evidence of education – oh and BTW folks, EO and HE-UK (etc) are also wrong in perpetuating the ‘myth’ of a right of refusal (etc.), one of the reasons why EO info. is not given out by our local LA

So this is my mantra: “R. has chosen to return to school, so therefore I must not let the narrow-minded man annoy me.”

Except…

He really, really, really does and it’s not just me. I may no longer have to deal with him (atleast temporarily, although, upon my polite comment that we’d be seeing him again in a few years when Nin ‘comes of age’ he replied that he didn’t expect to be in post at that point), other people do. He carries on believing that he is right and we are wrong and that he is justified in his opinions that people who are ‘difficult’ are really hiding something.

It’s all very well saying that local HE-ers should stand together on this point – but they don’t.

I was one of a (very) small group standing up to the LA on this point and, until R. returns to school p/t on the 29th, I am the only one left who has not shown an example of work, or whose child hasn’t subsequently returned to school – and of course, as R. has chosen to return, that doesn’t even leave me and there is a rather large part of me that really, really hates the fact this and I think (and of course, again, it’s purely conjecture on my part) that he is smugly patting himself on the back at ‘dispelling’ the thorny lies that we spouted about HE-ers rights etc.

I am not criticising other people for their family choices, but ‘being the last one’ was bloody exhausting folks and near bought me to tears on numerous occasions and near bloody crushing when, after more than 18 months of what I would consider harrassment by the LEA, my son, who in preferring not to ‘provide evidence’ or even, at one point, meet the HE advisor and my determination to support him in his legal choice to do so led to the long back and forth of letters and arguments, chose to do a complete U-turn on the “I’m never going near school again” to “I want to go to school asap” .

Sometimes this supporting children’s rights can be a real downer, because, as his mum I love him and want to support him (within reason – we’re talking sensible choices here folks, I do bring in some adult consideration here), but sometimes I feel like I’ve been the full distance and back so many times (bearing in mind the court cases against his nutter of a biological father, which, incidentally, the second of which I had to represent myself as we couldn’t afford legal representation, even with some Legal Aid).

I’m so very, very, incredibly tired.

No, exhausted.

And then I have two more children. Two children who, after my experiences with the older two and school, I don’t want to ever set foot in a school at age 5.

But then I didn’t want them to attend pre-school either and yet Nin goes twice a week (and loves every minute of it).

It’s really hard to HE when you feel really set out on a limb. It’s not like there aren’t other HE-ers in the town, there are. They’re nice people, but I don’t necessarily connect with them and therefore I do feel rather alone here. I can’t drive and TBH I think I need to drive to get out somewhere else if I’m to successfully HE Nin and Ned.

I don’t feel really like I ‘fit in’ at the next nearest HE meet (there certainly isn’t one locally and part of me wants to set one up, but then the other part of me knows about all the crap that can go along with HE meets and I really DON’T want to be dealing with that – and I know I’m not alone with saying 98% of it is other parents, not their children). Oh and Fiona, Sarah and Kris will know what I mean when I say, yes, I still am anal enough to be really, really wound up about it all

I know I’m cynical, but d’you know what, we don’t live in a wonderful Utopia where we can all get on and agree – HE is diverse as any other group of people and sometimes, although my politeness generally means I smile sweetly, I really want to thump someone on the head with a heavy implement (not a good urge!)

I live in a mining village where those people that know me think I’m a bit odd and I do struggle to find common ground with people, even without the breastfeeding (yes, even breastfeeding is viewed with surprise, it’ll be interesting what they say next year when we’re likely to still be going and thereon ), slinging, cloth nappies, eating organic food (why waste your money on that?) and well, you get the idea.

I really need to learn to drive, but to learn to drive I need some work coming in and that is something I’m rather short of atm. I need money to plough into business to make business successful, but perversely, needing business means that I don’t have the sort of money needed – catch22, so continuing to learn to drive not much of an option atm.

DH is making noises about me having to drive to HE too and that IHO I will be isolating this children if I don’t get out amongst the HE community with them.

I’m going to stop ranting now.

I’m not really very happy atm.

… but I see these things and I can’t resist having a go:

You are The Empress
Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.
The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.
The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Seen at Ethically Speaking - a blog worth reading

…. and then I get sidetracked and forget. When did life get so very busy - and people wonder why I laugh when people say, “You’re at home with the kids all day? Don’t you get bored?”

I’ve not been bored for some 11 years now and TBH pretty much the only time I have been truly bored was when I was at school (and I did pretty much everything possible to avoid going). I have a boredom-avoidance gene or rather a tendency to avoid doing things I have no interest in - known to some people as ‘laziness’ but only because they’re really rather jealous as they may not have the balls to actually stand up and say, “D’you know what? Life’s too short.”

My father calls it selfish and says I have to grow up sometime (or rather he said it the last time I spoke to him, some 3 years ago). That we all have to face the ‘hard facts’ of life - this sort of comment usually comes in the same sentence (or atleast the same conversation) as ‘children need to go to school to learn what life is really like’/'bullying toughens you up’ - you get the idea.

I’ve been a very superficial blogger of late, mostly because I have so very much going on in my head it can be so bloody hard to put it all into words. It’s been a wierd year, what with moving and then feeling rather ‘out on a limb’ and R. having such a difficult time and Erk deciding he wants to go back to school and me really questioning life (again) - it’s a bugger this non-conforming rebellious streak, people keep trying to stamp on it but it just won’t give up and go (quietly).

And that’s part of the problem with R., Me. Because in so many ways he is very like I was at the same age (minus the bullying crap I was going through at the same age - but then he managed to squeeze in a goodly amount before he was 7). He hates fractions and time-tables, he *can’t* do them, not because he physically can’t, but because he has decided he can’t - and I decided the same thing at school and just refused to learn them, I couldn’t see the point and I’ll have argued the toss with anyone.

My mother says it’s divine retribution - or rather a balancing of karma, someone, somewhere is smiling down on her and whilst I know she wouldn’t wish me any distress, it must be a slight smug kick for my first born to be as much of a PITA at times as I was.

And that’s part of the problem too.

I remember being 11. I remember being 12, and 13 and 14. 15 is a bit of a blur (drunken etc. induced), as is 16. I sobered up a bit at 17 (after all I did have a baby) - point is I do remember what it’s like to be an adolescent and a teen - atleast I remember the crapness of it all.

Yet I could quite cheerfully strangle him at times - the child, who is, after all, quite a bit like me. Same bloody-minded control-freakery I KNOW WHAT’S BEST so f*** the lot of you streak and yet he is so very conservative, so very adherent to the rules as they suit him and everything is so incredibly black and white - not the myriad shades of grey that drive me bonkers so very often and stupid-o’clock-in-the-morning - and I know that’s not necessarily an adult thing, I was like that as a child and Erk is like that now (which worries me slightly).

So maybe we’re not so similar after all.

I never was one for rules and I get ever so uppity if someone tries to tell me what to do.

Which in a rambling way leads me to Statements of SEN.

I wrote a request, I received a form to fill in details, I haven’t filled it in.

Because really I don’t want him to go. I know it’s not the right thing for him either. What we need is a bit of space from each other, but he’s so bloody difficult atm that it’s nigh-on impossible for him to go anywhere to get that space. I always say that school is really a form of mass subsidised childcare - and certainly that’s how I’m viewing it, but I don’t want him to go, it’s still *not right* for him.

But then what is?

The past few months have been a hellish blur (and I consider myself to be an optimistic person) and yet there are rays of sunshine through the clouds. He spent a day helping one of the neighbouring allotmenteers clean out her chickens, rabbits and ducks. He came back with some eggs and the promise that if he continued helping out to demonstrate he could care for them properly he could have a rabbit and some chickens to keep on the allotment (on the proviso he builds a good home for them - and he’s already built a compost heap, so is getting rather handy with the woodwork). He came back so happy, it was wonderful to see, plus I’d had a quiet afternoon with the littlies - the first for a very long time without R. there.

That’s what we need, a bit of space from each other, but that space is bloody hard to find.

Today I had friends round, with their respective children (which made for 5 little girls in the house) and he was great. Spent most of the time in his room reading and watching a DVD. This may not sound like anything special, but recent visits have been positively explosive. So today was a big difference.

He also seems a bit ’sunnier’.

And so I start to doubt again. Doubt the decision to seek a statement that I don’t think will be right for him anyway, but was done in desperation to have a day which isn’t filled with bickering and upset or him thumping his sister (and he’s thumped me too). Maybe it’s hormones kicking in, complicating the already complicated Aspie tendencies (or rather the not very complicated Aspie tendencies, as R. focusses on what he wants and doesn’t necessarily ‘get it’ if it causes chaos for everyone else).

Still with me?

I know I’m meandering (and no I’m not drunk, just ponderous).

*ANYWAY* I’m dawdling on the statement front, my cynicism is kicking in big time and I’m wondering why life is so bloody complicated and why I always have to play the devils advocate and see so many bloody facets to absolutely-bloody-everything.

We have been to the allotment.

This is the allotment that I had a letter from the Parish Council about saying that it appeared to be ‘uncultivated’ (please translate this as in all probability that one of the Parish Council’s members friends wants an allotment). I got a bit miffed and wrote a sharp e-mail back, which resulted in an apology and them pointing out that they had to follow procedure and from peeking through the gap by the gate, etc, and that it *does* say in the letter that they are aware I’ve just had a baby etc. OK, I’ll admit there are alot of nettles, but it’s taken months to get this much done (what with all the rubbish, glass, nettles and other chaos on what had been a neglected plot). OK, there are more than alot of nettles, the plot is mostly nettles, but what is the point in tackling them in the main growing season when I can tackle them at a less productive time of year. Said nettles are also hiding all the bits of allotment covered in assorted cardboard, plastic sheeting and rugs (in an attempt to stifle some of the nettles). I will be keeping a ‘wild’ patch too. Personally I rather like the chaos, it makes me smile and remember how beautiful and bounteous the gifts of Mother Earth are.

This is Sunday’s tray dug up and picked at the ‘uncultivated’ allotment.

We have more chillis (Rik has been taking photos of them)..

.

And finally, a smiley cat:

…… that makes them think it’s a good idea to deposit half-eaten pears in people’s gardening shoes?

Yes, it went squidge - yuck!

It’s my birthday today - just another year until I’m 30. I took Ned for his photo session. I won a free photo (yes I know it’s all part of a promotion to get me to buy loads of photos, but then I wanted some of Ned anyway and at some point need to get one of the children together, so actually it’s quite welcome). Ned was a star, smiling enthusiastically and burbling away at the photographer - I can’t wait to go and see the proofs next week! It was a lovely birthday present just to go along and watch him laughing

Erk’s gone back to school, rather unenthusiastically as it turns out school isn’t quite as fantastic as he thought it might be…..

I’m planning to go and visit my brother in Brighton in the summer (not been to Brighton before) so am feeling rather enthusiastic about that and apart from that everything’s plodding along.

I’ve been slowly cutting out dairy again and hoping it might help my skin out a bit - also on the cards in wheat etc., but I need to look at the logistics of managing that and not eating meat as well. This was the problem a couple of years ago and I came across someone who is vegan and also gluten-free but unfortunately they didn’t answer my questions about the hows etc. I don’t want to have lots of supplements, I’m not a fan of pill-popping, rather I think people should get the vits etc. they need from the food they eat. I’m off for a blood test when I get a spare min as doctor thinks I might be low on B vits - lots of ulcers etc. in my mouth (plus itchy mouth etc.) which could be a sign of candida apparently - basically my diet needs a complete overhaul and I really MUST lose some weight (because whilst I’m not exactly a vain person, I’ve put on a lot of weight whilst pg with Nin that just hasn’t shifted and the extra weight makes me feel so heavy and tired - which is not a good thing - I’m a size 18/20, rather than the 12/14 at which I feel healthy and haven’t been for 2 years).

Time to get really strict about the number of cakes I’ve been eating!

….. for my birthday (it arrived early and caused some confusion because I’d forgotten that it is my birthday soon).

See the little child in a sling behind the shield? My grandmother knows just what I’ll love

Tusen takk Bestemor

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don’t actively fight them. You’re just you. You don’t try to be what people expect you to be.

…. But then I have been really busy in a so much to do so little time way. R. is still plodding on with his Ancient Eygpt project - I *still* haven’t caught up with my book (I wanted to make one too), especially as the map drawing with his new aquarelle pencils looked so much fun – but I’ve got a few knitting projects that need to be done if my children are going to have clothes to wear (as I should really use some of the yarn I’ve got rather than buying them jumpers!)

I’ve made a kaftan for Ned – it needs an iron (as you can see in the photo) and I’m going to embroider around the neck and cuffs. I’ve almost finished the front of a chunky cabled baggy jumper for R. (who feels the cold and needs thick jumpers) and Nin is fast outgrowing all of hers, so next on the agenda is a cardi for her.

Sarah & co. came round on Saturday. It was Sarah’s birthday so we ate home-made pizza, dips and chocolate cake We spent a lot of time discussing life, the universe and everything and also business plans that might make life a little easier for both of us.

Rik built the fence at the allotment on Sunday and we all had a bit of a clear up there. It’s looking a lot better but still needs A LOT of work. Feeling all inspired though! There are three propagators sitting on the windowsill in the dining room – one of herbs, the fennel, parsley and time are sprouting already and two (!) of chilli peppers (Rik has a *thing* about chillis). Kris had some garlic from us as it desperately needed planting (we’ve some planted already in the back – but what was left wouldn’t keep for our allotment) so we’ll divvy that up when it’s grown (dh also has a thing for garlic – we’re going to stink for the rest of the year It was lovely to see her and Tea and Piglet after such a gap.

Off on a tangent, this is where the road leads that we live off:

The lane you can see peters out not much further on and from there there is a track to the next village (which is cyclable – if I had a bike).

A photo of the woods (which are to the right of Erk in the photo above):

There are what I think are quite a few hazel trees, but I wasn’t able to check in the autumn (the nuts would’ve confirmed it, I get a bit confused between hazel and something else – i.e. I sometimes think it’s a hazel tree but there’s a similar leaf on something I typically can’t remember off the top of my head now – but the nuts clinch it), so will keep returning until I’ve confirmed whether that’s the case. There are some hazel trees in the other wood - I saw unripened nuts on them, but wasn’t physically able to pick them later in the season, but it’s nice to know of as many as possible so there’s a choice when picking.

The fungi that I mentioned a few posts ago:

Anyone know what it is?

The boys finally decided they wanted to read Harry Potter:

And a pic of Ned, he’s 8 weeks tomorrow and weighed 12oz 12lbs when I got him weighed last week!

It’s not that I’m at a loss really for something to write, just that I’m rather peed off, so anything I did write would be a long and probably fairly meaningless rant…….

So, instead I typed out my current playlist:

An Honest Mistake – The Bravery
You’re Gonna Miss Me – 13th Floor Elevators
Highly Evolved – The Vines
Hate To Say I Told You So – Hives
Once Around The Block – Badly Drawn Boy
Hateful – The Clash
Just One Look – Doris Troy
Hazy Shade of Winter – The Bangles
Devil in Me – 22-20s
Hanging On The Telephone – Blondie
Who Was In My Room – Butthole Surfers
What Do I Get? – Buzzcocks
Her Love Rubbed Off – Carl Perkins
A Little Respect – Wheatus
The Only One I Know – The Charlatans
I’m Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman – White Stripes
Garbage Man – The Cramps
She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult
Ziggy Stardust – David Bowie
Holiday in Cambodia – Dead Kennedys
Love What You Do – The Divine Comedy
Dinosaurs – The Stingrays
Add It Up – Violent Femmes
Too Drunk to F*** - Dead Kennedys
Somebody to Love – Jefferson Airplane
Everyday I Love You Less & Less – Kaiser Chiefs
Shoot Forth Thunder – The Grips
Oliver’s Army – Elvis Costello
Untutored Youth – Hives
A Song for the Lovers – Richard Ashcroft
Town Called Malice – The Jam
World Shut Your Mouth – Julian Cope
Suspect Device – Stiff Little Fingers
The Puppet – The Stingrays
Search & Destroy – Iggy & the Stooges
Every Day Hurts – Sad Café
Hounds of Love – Kate Bush
Up the Bracket – The Libertines
Fell In Love With A Girl – White Stripes
Seven & Seven Is – Love
Alive & Amplified – The Mooney Suzuki
Day We Caught The Train – Ocean Colour Scene
Territorial Pissings – Nirvana
Getting Better – Shed Seven
Paint It Black – The Rolling Stones
Come On Kid – The Stingrays
She Bangs The Drums – The Stone Roses
Richard III – Supergrass
It Came From Japan – The Von Bondies
Trick Bag - Artesians

I found this whilst reading here.

Everyone says that my life is the way of a simpleton.
Being largely the way of a simpleton is what makes it worthwhile.
If it were not the way of a simpleton
It would long ago have been worthless,
These possessions of a simpleton being the three I choose
And cherish:
To care,
To be fair,
To be humble.
When a man cares he is unafraid,
When he is fair he leaves enough for others,
When he is humble he can grow;
Whereas if, like men of today, he be bold without caring,
Self-indulgent without sharing,
Self-important without shame,
He is dead.
The invincible shield
Of caring
Is a weapon from the sky
Against being dead.

Lao-tzu
Tao Te Ching

Made me think :0)