dottyspots

Time’s still fairly chugging past. It’s been a bit of a ‘challenging’ time as R. has taken a bit of a spiral down on the behaviour front and I’m finding dealing with his bad temper increasingly wearing - the difficulty being that although he is 11 years old, socially he appears to be much younger, but of course all people see is a child who they generally think is older than he is (because of his height), who speaks well, etc. so it comes as rather a shock when he has a meltdown and collapses in a tantrum on the floor because he’s lost his favourite little rubber dinosaur (out of a cracker).

I know I should work with him where he is, but as he gets older some of his difficulties become ‘more obvious’ and harder to deal with. In addition he is furious because Erk gets to go to more ‘activities’ with him - and it is very difficult to explain that I know that he would not cope with many of the things he wants to do ATM. His latest complaint was that he was ‘discriminated’ against because Erk is moving up a swimming class next weekend and will get to go swimming for an hour (only for next week mind) rather than the usual half and hour, so why can’t he do the same? This is on the back of him being ‘discriminated’ against because the flu jab is offered to older people or people with a particular health condition (he made a point of shouted this at the surgery and complaining to the nurses, who looked a little perplexed and explained exactly the same thing as I had, that the flu jab was for target groups of people and a strapping, healthy lad such as R. should be fine fighting the virus should he contract it).

Added to the shouting out in the street that a group of young men were obviously drunk and pee-ing in someone’s bush (this was in the evening) and complaining that a group of children are smoking and they’re too young (which was true, but you can imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been with him) - he is heading for a lot of trouble. Yes, technically he is right that these things shouldn’t happen, however, he is also very likely to get a punch in the mouth for his trouble (and it wouldn’t be the first time, bearing in mind his arm was broken by a group of children after 2 years of bullying).

He seems to have developed an automatic lie facility - in that he will claim he hasn’t done something when it is clear he has (or I have even watched him do it). He is constantly sniping at his brother and criticising anything I suggest and right now a residential school does appear to be very tempting (although not really an option).

Of course he is furious because we won’t let him go out to play, because we just cannot rest that he would be sensible or safe (especially after his younger brother informed us of a recent incidence when they went to the shop on the corner). He is insisting that he should go to Cubs as well (even though he’d be in Scouts) regardless of the fact that he hates groups of people, noise and being told what to do. He is demanding taking archery lessons (oh yes, because a child who refuses to be told what to do by anyone save for me - and believe me he will try and argue, but you’ve got very little hope otherwise - is going to be safe with a potentially lethal weapon in his hands). At present he’s struggling coping with the swimming lessons, although he is progressing well with the actual swimming.

Group activities just aren’t an option ATM - and this had led to further difficulty as TBH I have a need to get out and see people and Nin appears to enjoy a bit of time out. MIL was supposed to be watching R. one day a week so that this could happen (and he prefers to go there than to the group and apparently is a real help whilst there) - but this hasn’t been happening and TBH I’m starting to feel rather annoyed and let down. I was supposed to be doing a First Aid Course today and MIL had offered to have the children whilst I did it (it is a condition of my registration - but I really wanted to do the course anyway). I phoned her to see if everything was still on yesterday to be told that she is ill. Thing is, the last time I asked for a bit of help on the childcare front to attend a course she didn’t even turn up and told me later she was ill (so essentially didn’t even phone!) and I have a feeling she wouldn’t have bothered phoning this time round either, so I would’ve rushed around in the morning, taken the kids into town to meet her and there would be no-one there :0(

So rather p****d off. Of course people can’t help being ill, but it is happening with such a regularity that I’m struggling to be sympathetic as it’s not as if I’ve even asked for a babysitter so that I could have a night off, it’s so I could attend a couple of courses. I’m p*****d off with Rik as well, because whilst I appreciate he’s working 7 days a week, I’m more than a little annoyed that he was given lots of notice of when the course was but couldn’t take the time to watch the children either whilst I did one little thing for me, for a change - perish the thought I tried to do something simple like get a haircut (which I’ve wanted for around a year now!) I’ve explained that taking the children with me just isn’t an option (but clearly he has no experience of trying to get a 2 year old to sit still whilst someone cuts your hair, whilst your 11 year old complains that the radio is too loud and someone has ‘funny’ hair or they have a ‘crap’ haircut).

On the plus point, R. appears to be enjoying the Mesopotamia project (when he isn’t complaining about something else) and Nin used a potty for the first time.